Marilyn May Smithson

I was involved in choir at school (and at church). I enjoyed art. Was very shy (probably scared) back then. Didn't get involved in activities too much outside of home. Tried joining a swim team and remember doing the back stroke in a competition. I also remember trying to participate in a play as a chorus member. That did not go anywhere. My homelife was very stressful, and unfriendly. It kept me in a very reserved state of mind. I felt unloved for so long and developed a very self-protective state of mind. How do you move forward, and survive? You learn to cope by developing coping mechanisms.

I am now over most of the fear I had endured as a youth and a young adult. I have a relationship with God which has helped me greatly. Sanctification is a daily growing experience, without which I would have given up on life long ago.

As an adult, I learned to love downhill skiing. I hardly ever fell, but broke a rib when I crashed on a simple hill a few years ago. My ski tips must have crossed or I hit an edge! Am looking forward to skiing again, but the gas expense sometimes prohibits going. I also was overweight until last year which made going less appealing.

I still love to swim. I remember we went to the beach a lot when I was growing up. I loved to swim in the waves until I saw the "Jaws" movie. That relationship ended abruptly!! Now, I go to our gym occasionally. I am still able to walk on my hands in the water!

I love to watch "When Calls the Heart" and "The Chosen" TV. I just went through the Master Gardener training program and will be certified in December. In the meantime, I'm applying the things I learned in my own garden, and volunteering here and there when I get time. I read, kayak when it's warm, and need to get back into my violin (I don't know why I put it down so long!).

I have participated the last two years as a tour guide for the Journey To Bethlehem program that nearby churches put on. We will not be involved this year as my husband's diabetes made it very difficult for him to finish out safely in our last performance!

I used to sing solos a lot at church. Need to get back into that. Covid slowed down so many things, and has completely zapped my voice again recently. Back in the 90s, I used to be a member of the Mid Columbia Symphony Chorus in the Tri-Cities. We accompanied a number of artists in classical operetas with the Symphony Orchestra, until we diverged into mainly doing "Handel's Messiah." I miss those days! I also was a member of the Master Singers for a short time until I realized my lifestyle conflicted with theirs.

School, and making friendships, were hard for me. My home life was very unhappy. My mom was verbally abusive to me constantly, and was always on my case about something. It was usually totally undeserved. The stress sucked out all of my enthusiasm and creativity for anything. I felt like I barely made it through to the end of the 12th grade with my sanity! My grades were very low; I didn't study because of depression. I even almost failed English which was one of my favorite subjects! The long vocabulary lists bored me to death. So I still struggle to find the appropriate "long" word. Ha!

I learned later on in life that I could get good grades when I applied myself. I averaged a 3.97 GPA in college in 2008 when I was working towards getting my RN. I did not continue because I was also helping my daughter through college. Financially, it was just getting to be too much. I stopped just short of the math requirements for my nursing pre recs. I realize now I should have put off family obligations, and finished my education. My daughter didn't even follow through after that. It was good however to finally realize that I could have made good grades back then had I been happy and motivated.

I kept a low profile and had very few friends. I was shy and scared. My mom divorced my dad due to physical abuse. He was selfish, and an absent father. She was completely uninterested and uninvolved in my happiness, or schooling. I did participate in choir. That turned out to be a saving factor in my life. I learned how to sing while I was in the military because I had Christian records that I liked to sing with. After I married, I participated in trios, quartets, sextets, double mixed sextets, large group choirs, concerts, and more. I even formed choirs at times, and directed them (not that I liked directing).

In school, I had to keep my hair short for so many years. I was told I didn't take care of it, but I didn't know how! My mom never took an interest in showing me how to properly take care of my hair, or my skin or nails for that matter! After high school, I must have rebelled because I have a picture where it was quite long. I kept it long for many years, but have had it cut in a layered cut at times.

I was just beginning to like my hair in high school. It was somewhat curly, and had a bad frizzy spot right in the middle of the back of my head! I thought it was mostly because of bad hair products, but I'm thankful to have had healthy hair most of my life. Then, I had covid for two months (Sept-Oct of 2021). Strangely, afterwards, a lotl of my hair fell out (hair fall), and as the hair began to grow back in, the curly area returned in the same spot! Not frizzy this time, but mostly wavy and unmanageable without a curling iron.

I also had crooked teeth, so was very self-conscious. Braces back then was absolutely out of the question. Mom was a single mom raising 4 children. I finally got braces long after I got married. They were straightened in 1990. Having my teeth straightened really improved my self-confidence. I had thought of becoming an airline stewardess, but braces weren't allowed back when...

I wish I had had the courage to make more friends, but I suppose I didn't because I felt I was ugly. I was told that by my family quite often. And I wasn't emotionally supported in my own home. How would my friends be accepted, and would they accept me? My mom and my sister told me that I couldn’t make friends. I believed them! I was very lonely, and cried a lot when I was alone. I wish I had understood that I could have sought out a counselor or mentor, but we didn't do things like that in those days.

I had three brothers and one sister. She pretty much ignored me. She preferred to be with her friends. I hung around with my brothers mostly, and became a regular tomboy. I should mention that I made friends easier with boys, than with girls (probably due to my bad relationship with my sister). Anyway, there was this boy in my American Problems class who sat across from me. He was so handsome. I was too embarrassed to speak with him in class, afraid he would notice me, and I didn't dare look directly at him. I figured he would think I was ugly (my teeth and my frizzy hair). He was on the football team, I think... Can you imagine being so introverted? Ooh, it was painful.

I now find it easier to make friends, but I have learned to be selective. Not everyone who says they're your friend, acts like a friend. My present friends love me and appreciate my sense of humor. I have since grown out of the fear that gripped me as a youth. I am a Christian, and am now content in knowing that I have the best friend anyone could hope for, Jesus Christ my Savior. 😄

It was very hard for me for many years, because I'd never had any counseling or mentoring, which I sorely needed. I didn't know what questions to ask for help and didn't even realize that I could ask any questions (that it was okay to ask!). Once I graduated, I eventually was forced to leave home! That was probably the best thing that could have happened to me, for I needed to grow up and learn how to function on my own away from the negative environment I grew up in.

Anyway, since I didn’t want to live with relatives, or live on the street, I inquired about going into the Army, and was accepted. After a fairly rough time in Basic Training (due to my poor social skills), I went to the clerical AIT, and became a Clerk-Typist. I was able to travel a bit which helped me further hack away at my ever-present fear. Going to South Korea on a 13-month tour, helped diminish that even further. While there, I became a Christian, which changed my outlook on life. I began to heal. I met my future husband (he was a medic in a nearby unit). I got a 3-month early out (we could get that in those days) from the Army after we got married, and we lived in Texas (where he was from) for 5 years. While there, I got my LPN certification with the last part of my GI Bill.

I became pregnant with our son Eric before I got out of college, and we moved back to the Northwest (where I was from) while he was still a young child. We had another child (Kimberly) who was born with some complications, and died before her 4th birthday. Sarah came along two years later, while I worked full and part time as an LPN. I became a home-school parent, and did that until life prevented me from being able to do that in full capacity, and they entered public school.

My kids are now grown. My son has two kids. He is divorced and lives with us (he has PTSD which he acquired due to hardships he experienced as a soldier in Iraq, twice). I have two grandkids from my daughter who is divorced.

My husband worked full-time as a Planner, but is now semi-retired. They could call him back in at any time (please??!!). We have endured extensive layoffs over the years. We just celebrated 50 years of marriage together this last March 10, 2024. Staying together that long requires a tremendous growth curve! Both of us have learned much patience, forgiveness, perseverance, forbearance, long-suffering, etc., over the years. Applying principles of gentleness, charity, kindness, purpose and faith have helped us survive the many hurdles that life throws at us continuously.

We garden together. He built me 5 large planter boxes (two different sizes). We bought good soil. I put enriched soil on top of that. He put in the sprinkler systems, and that got us under way. Because I just completed the Master Gardener program, I am having him change some of those to drip lines. I plant everything, feed it, and harvest. He cans. We both freeze and dry some of it. Gardening really keeps me busy, but is a very helpful resource to help with sustenance!

They were in Downey, California. I moved to Medford before my Senior year. Downey Senior High School; John Muir Junior High; 68th Street Elemtary School.